Why Buying a House Is Stressful for All the Wrong Reasons

Something must have lit the fire within to get you from thinking about it to actually doing it—buying property. Whether it’s your first time at home ownership or just another venture in real estate investment, the buying process will test your mental agility and emotional wherewithal.

While there may be parts of the transaction process that are unavoidable, collectively, buying a house is stressful. Period. Though there are some considerations to put into practice along the way that can minimize aggravation and maximize success.

Be Open to Stepping Outside Your Wishlist

Before launching into your best imitation of a two-year-old’s temper tantrum, take a slow, deep, methodical breath. Then another. Now, look at the wishlist you’ve created for yourself as the gage to finding your perfect property. This is where it starts to get real.

Don’t Box Yourself In

A major metropolitan city, such as Phoenix ranked No.5 in the United States, will have multiple cities and towns around it that help create the overall real estate environment. Within each is a separate pulse, a community brand in a sense, that will entice or repel certain segments of the population. This isn’t necessarily a red flag but more about the defining factors or key differentiators that make each area individual.

For example, Tempe is readily known for its millennial mindset due to it being the major hub for Arizona State University. But this doesn’t mean there isn’t appeal to other generations buying a house, condo or flat.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with buyers who provide specific geographic criteria in their home search that makes the process of identifying the right home more arduous than necessary. In addition, staying in a preconceived box of options increases the likelihood of missing out on a great opportunity located in a neighboring community or city next door.

Property Search Criteria Are Subject to Human Error

The way real estate agents work with buyers has changed over the years since the advent and use of consumer websites: Zillow, Redfin, and Realtor.com to name a few. While this allows would be purchasers easy access to swipe and favorite residences of choice, it presents a circumvention in the process that often leads to disappointment.

  • Pick your neighborhood sticking points as part of search criteria

  • What you qualify for is the highest price point, it’s okay to aim lower

  • Contacting an experienced mortgage consultant is the first step

  • Knowing what you can afford will change home searches

Most of us are consumed with getting the best interest rate on a home loan and getting a good deal on a place. Here’s the part that isn’t spoken about enough but is essential to the bigger picture in pinpointing the best property.

Does the home give you quiet enjoyment? Comfort?
Does living here, wherever that is, fit your lifestyle?

Sure, we all want to buy right as far as the numbers go and make a solid investment. But what you really end up living with in a home purchase is just that – living or merely existing. Either it fits, or it doesn’t.

Online real estate searches have holes.

Wonder how the information on a property search gets imported? Local residential real estate sites are comprised of data pulled from our Arizona Regional Multiple Listing Service. And who puts the data in? Real estate agents, humans, well-intended though subject to the same distractions and accidental errors as the rest of the population.

Members of the real estate community don’t always get the data input right. However, this can affect the listings received based on the criteria used in your search.

Push parameters.

There are some tricks to the trade when it comes to property searches. This becomes invaluable when there is little inventory or when sales activity is especially busy.

For example, if you’re looking for a three-bedroom home and they are hard to come by, consider searching for two-bedroom homes with a den or office. If that third bedroom is a must-have, a trip to Ikea or other DIY retailer has many closets to choose from making this a viable and relatively inexpensive solution.

Follow Your Intuition When Buying a House

Shocked by this? How come? Selecting a real estate professional to help you purchase a property falls under many of the same guidelines as other business services and products. Online reviews are great but are they genuine? Websites may speak to your senses through pretty imagery and impressive statistics. But nothing is more valuable than the feeling you get when you meet an agent face to face.

Think of it this way. Buying a house is the single most important and financially intense decision most people will make in their lifetime. Would you put this in the hands of a person you’ve met online, without an in-person meeting or at least a referral from someone you already know?

Purchasing a home isn’t like Carvana or Zoom.

Emotionally Sound Real Estate

If you’ve ever been in a real estate transaction, the term emotionally sound may seem oxymoron-ish. Based on some of the war stories that I’ve seen happen at the closing table between buyers, lenders, and real estate agents, having some emotional intelligence about the process can go a long way. But why is that so difficult?

You don’t have to be a drama queen to get emotionally charged during the purchase of property. Things can easily spiral out of control, not because of what someone said but how they said it.

Thoughtful communication is crucial to the buying process. Not everyone involved will have that artful ability, but keeping a cool head is instrumental in keeping a deal intact.

Keep Calm And Carry On Through Closing

Realtors appear to wear many hats—psychologist, space planner, teacher, investment advisor, legal analyst and more. We are adept at knowing a little about these roles though are not experts, unless we have additional designations or licensures to prove as such. However, we are experts at providing buyers the resources to get the information needed to make informed decisions. We are the definitive source of the source.

Helpful Ways to Lower Stress When Buying a Home

  • Don’t be afraid to ask your real estate agent anything. There are no stupid questions.

  • You know what you know, you don’t know what you don’t. Put your ego on the backburner.

  • Listen, forget. Repeat. Information overload is part of the process. Take it in stride.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. Emotions run amuck make mountains out of molehills.

  • Trust but verify before the inspection period is over.

  • A solid contract gives all parties a win. Verbiage with intention and timelines met are key.

The Difference A Certified Trauma Support Specialist Makes

Real estate, on the face of it, comes down to the numbers. It starts with the listing sheet that pulls into search engines and ends with a Settlement Statement. But what drives the process are people. And it is people that can turn a no brainer deal into a complete nightmare. But why?

Think about a random situation that may have happened to you while at the grocery store or while waiting in line at a coffee shop. A stranger says something to you that was inappropriate or hurt your feelings. The comment likely had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him (or her or they).

We don’t know what another person is going through or has gone through in life that leads to an emotional reaction. Whether the origin is physical or mental trauma, it will impact the way we perceive any given situation and our response to it. This also impacts real estate dealings.

An Understanding of People Helps

Although most professionals who receive a Certified Trauma Support Specialist designation work within the mental health, behavioral health, or social work spheres. I chose this realm of study to better serve the buyers and sellers I work with, as the personal rates of traumatic experiences continue to escalate in our population.

From military veterans to first responders and the mainstream who face continuous workplace trauma, raising the bar on emotional intelligence is the added layer needed in real estate. Having a core understanding of people skills better supports the ethical obligations as real estate professionals and serves clients well.

Keep Stress Out When Buying A Home









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